Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

'Club World Ca$h Grab': Players don protest shirts at pregame - Sounder at Heart

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Scientists Say Humans Now Are "Pansies" Compared To Prehistoric Yellowstone People - Cowboy State Daily

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I actually pay taxes

What is the difference between 'Adidas' and 'Adizero' shoes in terms of running distance and quality?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Wes Anderson Put a Great Deal of Time and Thought Into His Upcoming Criterion Career Box Set - IndieWire

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Children of slain Minnesota lawmaker Melissa Hortman: 'We are devastated' - ABC News

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I Tracked My Glucose Levels With My Favorite Fitness Tracker. These 3 Takeaways Surprised Me - CNET

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How do you recognize when your mental health might need attention?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why do many women wear sleeveless shirts, more so than men?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why is Meghan Markle's Hollywood presence fading despite her royal status and Netflix deal?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Shark Attack: “Jaws” Remains as Entertaining as It Was 50 Years Ago - Roger Ebert

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What would happen if Trump and Putin make a Ukraine peace deal without Ukraine's consent?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Simone Biles ‘incinerated her legacy’ with trans athlete posts: Riley Gaines - New York Post

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why is the UK facing a long-running housing crisis that experts say will take more than a decade to fix?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have a reading level above third grade

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is